Is Your Daughter Getting Engaged?



Is Your Daughter Getting Engaged?

For any mother, seeing their daughter getting engaged and ultimately walking down the aisle has to be one of the most rewarding periods in their lives. That said it can also be a stressful time, especially if the young couple have financial issues to deal with. As a mother, is your daughter contemplating getting engaged? If so, is she ready for that next big step in her life?

Give the Best Advice and Sit Back

Many moms can likely tell you that advising their daughters on the pros and cons on becoming engaged can be challenging. On the one hand, you want to be happy for them on such a momentous day. Then again, you may not be all that enamored with the man in her life and/or you may think she is either too young or moving too fast. When the latter happens, moms can be put in a tricky situation.

So, what advice should you give your daughter if she is thinking about getting engaged in the near future? Better yet, what’s best not to say to her?

Some advice would include:

  1. Are you ready? First and foremost, is she ready for such a big step in her life? Given that an engagement typically leads to a wedding, it is important to ask if now’s the best time to get engaged? Some couples rush into engagements, ultimately breaking up before a wedding can take place. On the flip side, the engagement can be a great usage of time for couples to get to know one another even more, seeing if they truly are ready for the next step;
  2. Will finances be an issue? – While it is the man traditionally spending the money to get the engagement ring, be it from or another popular provider, it is not uncommon in today’s challenging financial world to see more women chipping in. Yes, you may think spending money on your own engagement ring is a little peculiar, but it happens more often than you might realize. With that in mind, if your potential son-in-law is struggling a bit financially, you may want to discuss that matter with your daughter. Is she rushing into a potential union where money will always be an issue? If so, does she have enough of her own money to support herself if the two ultimately don’t make it as a couple? The cost of an engagement ring can open up an entire new set of discussions, notably around whether or not one or both parties are financially ready to make two turn into one;
  3. Is he really the one? – This can certainly turn into a loaded question, so proceed with it cautiously. In your daughter’s eyes, the guy she’s with and the man proposing to her is likely the one. You have to be careful not to rock the boat, potentially creating a rift between you and your child, perhaps others in the greater circle too. If you do have a concern or concerns (maybe they should wait a while?) about your daughter becoming engaged, approach the matter with care. Having a friendly but firm one-on-one sit down is the best way to deal with the matter. Above all else, remember that she is old enough to make her own decisions (see more below), especially when it comes to the person she likely wants to spend the rest of her life with;
  4. Respect her final call – In the end, you have to respect and go with your daughter’s decision to get engaged, even if you think the timing and/or man is wrong. Short of an abusive relationship, you can only try and persuade her so much. If she’s happy with the man in her life, then be happy for her. If he is willing to propose to her, eventually marry her, you can’t ask for much more in making her happy.

Given how big a step becoming engaged is, it is no wonder that it can be a bit of a stressful time for both the man and woman. As a mom, all you can do is be there to listen, give a little advice here and there, and hopefully see your daughter’s happiness.

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